Last night Chris was drawing with Kay. Mommy was in a helicopter above them he said.. Lately he’s been calling me a Helicopter mom, just to be funny. In all honesty I’m a helicopter mom (well just a mom, but people tend to call parents who are aware of their children helicopter parents) and proud of it. In fact I am not ashamed over my hovering. During my hovering I’ve witnessed my daughter and her cousins have little fights and I’ve been able to settle the feud after I saw her flying head first into the bottom part of the couch/floor. I’ve also seen her fall down to the ground and get plenty of bumps and bruises playing. I hover, but within a distance. I feel there’s NOTHING wrong with keeping my eyes on my child. I can see if I was following a 10 year old around at the playground, but my 2 year old.. seriously?! Who wouldn’t follow their toddler?
This morning after hubby’s drawing last night I saw Scary Mommy’s letter telling us “Dear Helicopter Moms, You’re Ruining it for everyone else“. All I could think is.. I’m Helicopter Mom, Watch Me Hover!
Obviously she has a bit of helicopter in her too, as you can see she’s hovering over us. Now that she shared her side, let me share mine!
- I’m sorry you get annoyed at my hovering over MY child. However I’m not hovering of yours. Maybe that one helicopter mom was, but that wasn’t me.
- If I see a child who needs help, I’m going to help them.
- If I see a child who looks lost, I’m going to help them.
- If I see a child who is stuck, I’m going to help them.
- If I see a child who wants to play with us, they can join in on the fun.
The fact is, life is short and I love spending every moment I can with my child. We don’t come to the park for me to take a break from parenting. I come to the park so I can be a kid again with my kid. We get messy, we run around, we laugh, we have fun TOGETHER. My daughter has fun with other kids and I let her play. I just hover a little distance away.
- My 2 year old does NOT realize how high that slide is.
- She does not realize that she can’t just jump down like that 10 year old just did.
- She does not realize that she can’t hold onto the monkey bars and go across like the bigger kids.
My daughter and I climb up and down the slide and while we’re trying to climb up another child RUSHES to go down the slide and push her down.
Can I tell you how many times I’ve been at the park and one of the moms on the bench (bench-warmers you call them) freaks when they can’t find their child? There’s always over 50+ children at our park. Good luck finding yours. My daughter is being a kid, my daughter is getting dirty, my daughter is having a blast. I’m not sorry for the memories and fun we’re having, I’m sorry that you’re missing out. It seems to me like you’re more worried about me than I am about you. I preferred to be called a mom, but I’m not ashamed of being protective. Like I said..I’m Helicopter Mom, Watch Me Hover!
I hear you mumma! My two year old is confident & independent and likes to take risks and I am a Helicopter Mum by some peoples standards.
I think he is so confident and will try new things because he feels safe. He knows I am right there, I am not going to leave him – I’ve got his back.
At home I let him play on play equipment with his four year old brother & jump on the trampoline without me standing right there but when we are out in public I don’t let him out of my sight or let him be more than a few arms lengths away from me.
If people have a problem with that it’s none of my business, my business is to take care of my child the best way I can.
There seems to be a fine line (or at least a chalk line) between the positive and negative connotations of a ‘helicopter’ parent.
I say parent because there are dads and moms who follow the same various parenting characteristics.
You describe yourself as a caring attentive parent who absolutely loves her child as an individual. That is the good of ‘helicoptering’ in my view. It is opening your child to environments and experiences that are enriching to their positive development. This can be done very well by being a part of their life as you describe. Allowing your child to explore, play, fall and being there to watch, participate in the fun and games, and pick up, dust off, repair, console, and move on is all positive parenting. It is not hovering or helicopering in the least.
Helicopering in the most negative sense is driving and picking up your child to organized events, and using this time to ‘run errands’ etc. It is not really being there for them and allowing them time to just play at their pace and in their manner of choosing.